


ever thine, ever mine

by anisstaranise



Series: Things that you say, I can't erase [7]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Period Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 22:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10863471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anisstaranise/pseuds/anisstaranise
Summary: It had been a dreamy, magical evening to begin with; the wine, the dancing, Blaine. Blaine, in his exquisite suit; the ruffles of his cravat mirroring the waves of his curly hair, the elegant unbuttoned long coat draped over his compact frame, the silky smooth fabric of his waistcoat when Sebastian had stolen a touch.





	ever thine, ever mine

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **Nan** who prompted " _things you said with no space between us_ " from [this](http://anisstaranise.tumblr.com/post/155022880210/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a) list.
> 
> Inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNOOhYrUWyM) scene from _Becoming Jane_.
> 
> Title from **Beethoven** 's famous love letter: "Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours."

The fallen leaves wet with evening dew squelch under his dress shoes as Sebastian walks to the edge of the garden, his steps determined yet careful. The path to the clearing is lined by towering topiary and the fountain ahead spouts synchronized streams of dancing water, giving the night air a dreamy, magical ambience.

It had been a dreamy, magical evening to begin with; the wine, the dancing, _Blaine_. Blaine, in his exquisite suit; the ruffles of his cravat mirroring the waves of his curly hair, the elegant unbuttoned long coat draped over his compact frame, the silky smooth fabric of his waistcoat when Sebastian had stolen a touch.

But the moment Blaine’s family had called for everyone’s attention, glasses raised in a toast to congratulate their son’s engagement to the first born daughter of the Corcoran family, Sebastian’s festive mood had plummeted along with his heart.

Sebastian had smiled- forced and contrite- and raised his glass in honour of the newly engaged couple but a storm of thoughts had raged in his mind. Sebastian Smythe wasn’t known for his sentimentality yet there was an ache in his chest, a kind of sadness tinged with anger and frustration.

The feelings aren’t new, not since Sebastian had crossed paths with Blaine. He had arrived in Shaw’s County a few weeks prior, visiting his hometown and ailing recluse aunt when his path and Blaine’s had crossed for the first time. Introduced as an aspiring novelist, Sebastian initially thought it endearing and somewhat naive for someone as sheltered and provincial as Blaine Anderson to be writing stories of worlds beyond the county’s borders and of falling in love.

Blaine, in turn, had thought Sebastian a dolt and an entitled toff; thoughts he had never refrained from voicing out to Sebastian.

But as their paths continued to cross, he had been privileged to witness the eloquence of Blaine Anderson; his kindness, his beauty- both heart and soul.

Fondness for Blaine had grown within Sebastian- quiet and unyielding. It hadn’t been the first time he found himself attracted to a man; he had been fortunate to discover and accepted that part of him from early in his youth. In the midst of an uncomprehending society where his attractions were concerned, Sebastian had sated his needs in the backrooms of Madame Gaunt’s bordello.

While the revolving door of faceless men Madame Gaunt had provided had given a fleeting sense of satisfaction, none offered something he hadn’t known he craved; affection.

In the days that had passed when the relationship between Sebastian and Blaine had shifted from being indifferent to being friends, they had spent day after day in each other’s company. Blaine would read the stories from his manuscripts, eyes twinkling with pride. His joy was infectious and Sebastian wondered if the stories of being free to love as the heart desired would still have the same effect if it hadn’t been Blaine reading them to him.

The moment Sebastian had realized he would never be able to love in accordance to the society’s conventions, he had conceded that love wasn’t for the likes of him. But then his path had led him to Blaine. Blaine, with his ink-stained fingers and his ideals of great love stories. Blaine, whose smile illuminates his dreams.

In quiet moments, Sebastian would feel the world around them dissolve into nothing and there would be just the two of them:

Blaine’s touches would linger whenever their fingers brushed, sending pleasurable shivers along his skin. They would hold each other’s gaze a little too long to be deemed a passing glance. Sebastian would stand just a little too close to be deemed proper, feeling the heat of Blaine’s body radiating the spaces between them.

But all too soon, the moment ends, like water running down a painted canvas, its colours blending one with the other, the beautiful images of what life could be like together washed away- and the world around them would reappear as if no time had passed; the canvas white once more.

And Sebastian would be left wanting, wondering.

Soon, a desire had blossomed in the recesses of his heart- quiet and unyielding; he coveted affection. He coveted _Blaine’s_ affection. But he had yet to admit to himself what that had actually meant. The affections of an amiable companion- or the affections of a lover?

Sebastian reaches the edge of the fountain and stops next to the figure standing in the shadows of a pair of looming marble statues. He casts his eyes forward, watching the moonlight glimmering upon the surface of the water.

“I see the delightful Miss Corcoran has accepted your marriage proposal,” Sebastian says, the quiver in his voice a tell to his failed efforts of being nonchalant, indifferent.

Blaine huffs a quiet laugh. The sound of it is gorgeous, as everything of Blaine’s ever is.

“There is an irony in appropriating _delightful_ to the disposition of Rachel Corcoran,” he chimes with humour but Sebastian hears the sadness in his voice.

Sebastian thinks of Blaine’s stories; of two people falling in love despite unfavourable first impressions, of overcoming barriers formed by family and society, of having their love triumph over it all.

Anger is suddenly pulsating under his skin. Blaine doesn’t harbour such an interest or affection for Miss Corcoran as he writes them in his stories. Sebastian knows the arrangement is out of familial duties, of favourable societal gain; and it genuinely vexes him. Blaine deserves better, he thinks. Blaine deserves more. It’s this thought alone that propels him closer to Blaine, demanding his attention.

“How can you have her?” Sebastian asks, the anger pulsing still. He’s quite surprised by the audacity of such a question, to impulsively demand an answer from his friend. He has no right, he knows- yet he asks anyway. “Even with your family’s thousands and estates matching the Corcoran’s, how can you- of all people- dispose of yourself without affection?”

Blaine turns to meet his gaze, his dark brown eyes glistening with tears, reflecting the light of the moon and Sebastian’s breath is caught somewhere in his chest; Blaine is wondrous, beautiful.

“How can I dispose of myself with it?” Blaine asks, his voice small. Blaine then steps forward to close the sliver of distance between them and whispers “I can never be with you, Sebastian. They will never allow it.”

It’s a confession that erases any doubt that their attraction is mutual, that in those quiet moments- the tingles and the shivers and the quaking of his heart and desires- Blaine had felt them, too. And it’s a confession that reels him back slightly, the weight of it both burdening and freeing.

The world is quiet around them, no sound save for the melody of Blaine’s words ringing in Sebastian’s ears. He’s trying to makes sense of it all, of the feeling that’s somehow glowing inside of him.

Then, slowly, Blaine presses their bodies close. Sebastian is stunned, unmoving like the marble statues next to them. He can feel Blaine’s thundering heartbeat against his chest, his own heart echoing the frantic beating inside his own body.

Blaine tilts his head slightly, closing the distance between their lips and in a moment, Blaine is kissing him. It’s slow at first, cautious and unsure. Then, Blaine raises a hand to cup his face. The kiss turns hungry and demanding, emanating desire. Blaine’s lips are warm, tasting the sweetness of the mead on his tongue. And he can smell that pleasant scent of parchment and ink on Blaine’s skin.

He can kiss Blaine for always.

The kiss slows into a rhythm they’ve found in one another, a rhythm uniquely theirs.

Then all too soon, Blaine slowly pulls away.

“Did I do that well?” Blaine asks rather sheepishly.

“Very,” Sebastian answers in a daze. “Very well.”

Blaine hums his gratitude at such an assessment, his hand slowly falling, caressing Sebastian’s face, down his arm before he holds his hand.

“I wanted- just once- to do it well,” Blaine whispers.

Amidst the elation of realizing his feelings for Blaine and to have those feelings reciprocated, there is the heartbreak.

This moment at the edge of the garden, away from the waiting world and family making merry in the manor behind them, this is all they’ll ever have.

_Just once._

They can never be.

Sebastian moves to cup Blaine’s face with both his hands and kisses him deep, ardent, hungry. There isn’t much they can do to change the minds and norms of the society around them but Sebastian can make sure kissing him isn’t something Blaine does _just once_.

It’s selfish and selfless all the same.

They breathe the same air after Sebastian pulls away, barely any space between them.

“I cannot yet offer you a life together,” he whispers against Blaine’s lips. “Maybe one day, when the world changes. Or if we run away to somewhere we can just be- if such a place exists. Until then, Blaine, know this-”

Sebastian kisses Blaine again, soft and slow. When it ends, Blaine is looking up at him, dark brown eyes shining, shaming the moonlight.

“-I am yours,” he confesses. “I am yours, heart and soul.”

Blaine smiles, beautiful and blinding.

Somewhere in the maze of the garden, laughter bubbles close; someone’s coming towards the clearing.

Sebastian steps back from Blaine on instinct, years of being groomed to observe propriety and chivalry but Blaine quickly grabs his hand.

The voices are getting closer but he doesn’t care. The world is dissolving and there’s only Blaine.

“As am I, Sebastian,” Blaine says and kisses the knuckles of his hand one at a time. “Ever yours.”

The words are both fleeting and ever-lasting, lost in the spaces between them the moment Blaine says it yet it is forever embedded in his bones, on his skin, living with every beat of his heart.

A woman laughs and it’s closer still. Their moment ends.

_Just once._

Blaine takes a step back just as the laughing woman reaches the clearing with her beau in tow. Sebastian holds Blaine’s gaze and he gives the other man a slight bow.

A smile is etched on Blaine’s lips as he bids good night, bowing in return before turning on his heel and heads back out of the garden to the manor, to his family, to his waiting fiancé.

Sebastian watches Blaine until he disappears down the path, swallowed by the shadows of the hedges. He then turns to regard the marble statues by the clearing, surface shining in the moonlight; two figures weathered by time stand facing each other, courting lovers chiselled close, mere inches away- but never touching.

Never. Not once.

\---END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments welcomed.


End file.
